Slough of Despond

[runcible]

Many of us have stared desperate situations in the face and everything is relative. Often it's hard when looking back to trace the escape route we've taken from such awful scenarios. Generally things do get better although that may be easy to say. I know I've been in such places myself more than once - the love and support of someone close to you is normally the factor that makes the difference and it sounds like you have that. I have friends who are in really shitty places right now and I hope that my own support contributes to their welfare.

I find it slightly reassuring that this is the place you've chosen to vent your feelings as I know people tend to be a little more sympathetic here than on other areas of the web. I offer you my sympathies and hope things improve. It's crap for a hell of a lot of people at the moment. I hate my job too but the love of a good woman is helping me cope with that. Don't ever discount the importance of that factor - many people don't realise they have such a thing, and many more never get to experience it properly ever.

[MODLAB]

Hello,

Finding a job in this atmosphere is terrible. I hope things work out for you and you're very
fortunate, to have such a wonderful woman by your side.

The thing I would tell you to do is if you were a draughtsman why not stay in the field and
become a visualizer for architects. Doing renderings is a huge business and I'm sure
you can find a place that would help train you while working. All you need is a foot in the door.

Best,

M

[spzretent]

Alternately is there nothing that you have a real passion for that you could somehow turn into a job/business? From the tone of your message it seems you would be much happier doing something you love and maybe trade off for a cut in income. But at least you would be happy and look forward to getting up every day. I do realize thats a bit of a pollyana response but there is a lot of truth in there.
I have been in this situation more than once, and am currently in a hole I am trying to dig myself out of. So I know how you feel. Thank god for good friends. And I dont have a supportive partner to help me thru this. Just friends and family. And while it does suck there is some light ant the end of the tunnel. Not a lot but I am busting my ass to make things happen. And in todays world it happens way too slowly.
Good luck in whatever happens.

[solarflarez]

You shouldn't be embarressed, not at all, theres a lot of good, good people in here as the above replies prove, and although im not the best at giving advice, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and with a great partner to support you, things can only get better for you mate, good luck and peace

[Stuart X.Hunter]

Is, firstly thank you for being brave enough to add a bit of humane-ness to our forum.

You certainly don't strike me as being someone who is 'least shit' at things; I have always found you come across as quite sharp in your posts.

As a lot of responses on here have stated; we all find our way in life mostly by stumbling. I went from Art into Engineering in a bit of a blink of an eye. I seized on an opportunity and built my role mainly.
I'm not overly interested in the field i'm currently in, however I have a job and I guess that that is something to be thankful for when others don't.

Forget Osborne and forgive yourself for trying to make your partner understand that you're just 'shit'. You aint 'shit' or 'mostly shit'. This has been what I can only understand as being; an excruciatingly difficult time for you and yours.

Tomorrow, you need to start dealing in facts.
Fact 1; you have had experience of working with and in a type of field. Write down the areas you have supplied your skills too as that may give you a sector you can target.
Fact 2; what people have you had to deal with/network with. Write down all the different levels of people you have had involvement with.
Fact 3; have you had deadlines to meet, how do you handle different situations, how do you work, how do you communicate.
Basically try to build a picture of yourself as an employee or prospective employee but in doing so become aware of how your other (and not main) skills can become adaptable to other sectors or roles.
You may have already done this, but in doing so again it may give a bit better clarity on how you are. Take confidence from the skills you have.
If you need any assistancee or even just to shoot the breeze by all means pm
I won't wish you luck as you will make your own, of that i'm sure.

Best,

Stuart

[Shinesalight]

Man, I don't think there's a day goes by without me thinking of what I could have done differently with my life. I currently work with my Uncle doing general building work and, luckily at the moment, we're quite busy, though I know lots of people within the industry as a whole are really struggiling. I enjoy my work, though at the same time its always weird seeing how succsessful my peer group from University have become.

Maybe a change of job is the answer. I broke my leg a few years ago and feared I wouldn't be alble to keep up in the physical work environment I was in, so I looked into becoming a teacher. However, the time and cost of the training, bearing in mind I was paying off a massive debt run up from a previous relationship, meant it was practically impossible. I've since returned to work but a part of me still thinks I should have given teacher training a better shot. Maybe, now is your chance to have a complete re-think of what you would like to do job-wise and how realistic it would be to do it.

The other thing, having read the amazing tale of Musicheals in the Music fourm, and without belittling yours or any one else's situation, is that things could be far, far worse. A friend of mine has had severe M.E for the last 15 years or more and he is practically bed ridden. I think of all the laughs and good times he's missed out, the years that he'll never get back, and yet I still find myself moaning to him about my various girlfriends or lack of or that I'm not where I thought I would be in life as I get ever nearer to the big 4-0. He's always cool about it though.

Anyway, i hope things work out for you and, like others have said, its a real compliment that you came on here to share your issues.

[Laz69]

I was given my provisional redundancy date on Tuesday of this week. There was a factory meeting last week while i was in London for the Spz show. My boss called me to break the news to me. Completely scunnered me and resulted in me feeling rather down even though i was there for the show.

I have been lucky enough to have been employed since i was 17 in one shape or form and have never really had to live off benefits or other means, but this new scenario is terrifying me something terrible too. I'd be lying if i said i was ok with it all and that i should just throw all my energies into lining something up for when i do leave... right now i have no idea where to even start. I have been working in the IT environment for the last 12 years (10 in my current job) but its a saturated market and i'm rightfully concerned about my chances of getting something that will be on a similar level or how long it would take to get something.

I truly have a lot of compassion for anyone currently in this or a similar situation as i don't think the job market is particularly healthy just now in (unless you work in the "cash for gold" or "debt consolidation" markets).

I suppose life throws a curveball sometimes and i suppose things could be very much worse for us and agree that it all seems rather trivial compared to the ills of others; shame it still feels shitty. As others have said, there are more than a few people around here that are willing to lend an ear or pass on advice... don't ever think you can't ask!

Stay strong Is...

[spzretent]

Well, at least it is a place to vent. If that makes you feel better then it has worked to some degree. And people here care. You can read all you want about how bad things are but this personalizes it. And in my case at least I realize I am not the only one struggling to keep my head above water.
And all of us amateur psycologists are free!

[clewsr]

Sorry to hear about both you your situations. I'm expecting to be in the same position early next year when the company I work for bins off lots more people. I'm considering my options, but they are quite limited. - I would consider looking in the public sector, - they have not had big cut backs yet, and have not been as ruthlessly treated as much of the private sector has. Teaching? Police? A friend of mine took a 50% pay cut to leave IT and join the police - and he loves it. Not sure I would, but still.

And my random piece of advice if you have free time - get hold of a cheap bike, [or even a free one if you join freecycle] and go cycling - the endorphins from an hours cycle always tend to get rid of any bad moods I have and it will leave you feeling a lot more positive and ready to try and do something positive.

PS - Is - glad to see you back. hope you keep posting.

[eelnekwah]

The redundant/laid off thing has happened to me twice now over the last 10 months.I'm a carpenter, and as we all know, the building industry is in meltdown and there are a lot of people vying for very little work.
The first time it happened 3 of us were called into the office after work and told that if things did not pick up in a 3 week timescale ,then they had no option to let us go and we should consider this talk as our notice.Timing could not have been any worse on this one .... 17th December 2008.This left me understandably devastated but I got out and about and looked for other work over Xmas and luckily I managed to find another firm of builders that were needy of chippys and I could start in the New Year 2009.
All was well with this firm until one day in April the boss came out on site and casually informed me that if things didn't pick up "blah blah blah" then he would have to lay me off.This time I never even worked my notice - just loaded my tools in my van at the end of the day and rang in sick for the rest of the week.Now this firm are a firm that have always done well in recessions so it seemed like another nail in the coffin for both myself and the building industry..
It was at this point that I vowed to take control of my own destiny and try and make a go of it myself.
Since April work has been steady and I no longer have to work the hours I used to and pretty much come and go as I (and my customers) please.
I've also been very lucky in combining my other obsession (SPZ/S3 being one),sea fishing into work.As I live in Cornwall I went to all the local tackle shops and asked if they were in need of regular supplies of fresh baits delivered to them and was lucky to get some takers.I now spend 2/3 days a week collecting crabs or digging worms and this coupled with say, 2 days chippying is enough to keep me and the family afloat.To some the bait supply may be unglamorous, but to me , its pretty much perfect.Out and about doing something I really enjoy and being paid for it.Generally get to drop/pick up kids from school (but sometimes I'm out to early to do this), the dog is out more times with me than at home on her own,no bosses breathing down my neck.I could go on.
I think ,to summarize, what I'm trying to say is life can deal some shit cards and get you down a while but then something comes along and can completely turn your world round again.For a while I harbored the same thoughts as you , is , but things have moved on for me and I'm now much happier than I've ever been.And it will happen for you.... just don't lose sight of yourself.
Good luck